What Day Is This? Pt 1

The phone rings, not uncommon, with a local number, also not uncommon. Usually, though, it’s either my bestest friend Sheila or one of the myriad Democratic campaign offices looking for someone to call other potential voters. But this time, it’s Sarah.

Sarah, Sheila and I met at work, long ago, and hit it off almost instantly, even though we didn’t realize it at first. Considering our backgrounds, likes and dislikes, and the fact that Sarah is too young to know what it means to defect, it’s pretty unlikely, but there you have it. Sarah is a goth-y mommy, writer, very open and out there with her thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, opinions and so forth, and 14, upgraded from 12 (well, okay, actually she’s in her 20s, but that’s beside the point). Sheila is a somewhat prudish and sheltered protective-y mother, writer, very closed and protective of her thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, opinions and so forth. And me, well, I’m just flawless. Stop laughing.

Anyway, the phone rings, and I see by my call ID that it’s Sarah. Well, since she’s one of the people I actually like to talk to, I answer. “What day is it?” No “hello,” no “what’s up,” just a demand to know what the date was. You’d be amazed how hard it is to keep track of time when you don’t leave the house on a daily basis. Fortunately for me, I have two calendars in close proximity to my computer, and one that is on my computer. “May 21,” I answer, curious where she’s going with this. Through the incoherent babble, I learn that her favorite author of all time (or something like that) was going to be at Tattered Cover in Denver tomorrow and she tried to think of all her friends that read so she thought and I was the first person she thought of so she called me right away and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her tomorrow to hear Chuck Palahniuk at Tattered Cover in Denver tomorrow ‘cuz he’d be there tomorrow and there wouldn’t be any questions or anything but he’ll be reading from his new book Snuff and he’s so awesome I love his books I can’t wait to see him how cool will that be… Finally, she took a breath. “Sure.” After some quick searches online to confirm the exact location and what would be happening, we had a plan. She needed to check with her husband to see if he was okay with her taking off the moment he got home, since she couldn’t leave the kiddies alone, and I mentioned that if I drove up to Tattered Cover and didn’t tell Sheila, she’d never speak to me again. Since she’s keeping me sane right now, I kinda need her to talk to me. So, Sarah called Sheila – more precisely, she called Sheila “Lisa,” – and made the arrangements. Secondhand information, she received the okay from her hubby while on the phone with Sheila/Lisa and apparently was doing laps in her home office.

I drive, because I have the most fuel-efficient car, and I’m most familiar with driving around Denver. Sheila and Sarah might add it’s because I’m also a control freak, but they don’t know what they’re talking about. We meet at my house, Sheila first, Sarah shortly thereafter. Still excited, she’s also anxious because we’re setting out much later than she wanted. The talk starts at 7:30, and we have to drive 70 miles or so in heavy traffic, and it’s 5:45. With a straight shot up I-25, we’d have plenty of time. But, my house is at least 7 miles from the nearest onramp and it’s still rush hour. What’s normally a 15-minute drive to the highway takes more like 20. That was the shortest bit. Once on the highway, we get the full impact of rush hour traffic. Time to take the alternate route, driving up CO 83. It follows I-25 almost exactly between Colorado Springs and Denver, just about 5 miles east. Getting to the alternate route took another 10 minutes, so now it’s after 6:00 and we’re really just getting started.

My little ’99 Chevy POS chugged its merry way up to Denver. I pointed out to Sarah that taking CO 83 is my preferred route to Denver because it’s so much more peaceful. I find driving on the interstate in heavy traffic annoying, and I just might have some potential road rage issues. Sheila keeps threatening to call the number to report drunk or aggressive drivers whenever she rides with me. Anyway, Sarah was able to calm down some, because the drive was indeed quite relaxing. Except for this butthead who insisted on riding my tail so close I could see she needed to tweeze her eyebrows. Apparently, the dotted yellow lines didn’t apply to her, she was gonna keep pushing until I got up to the speed she wanted. It’s not like I was doing 40 in a 75, I was actually speeding! Irritating. Eventually, she did pass, so at least that nuisance was gone. The closer we got to Denver, the more nervous I got, though, because I hadn’t really planned out the alternate route. I grabbed my map of Denver and handed it to Sarah, helping her to see where we were and where we wanted to be. She determined a route to our final destination. I may have helped some, but she picked it out all by herself. She can read a map, given enough time to do it. There are plenty of people who can’t. Sheila, meanwhile, is sitting in the back seat chuckling. Not sure what she was laughing at, but she seemed to feel Sarah and I were acting like an old married couple. I think she was delirious from hunger and fatigue.

Speaking of which, somewhere around Castle Rock, Sarah noticed some new construction. A Jack-in-the Box. I’ve only heard of Jack-in-the-Box on television shows, I’ve never actually seen one. Unfortunately, seeing that building going up only made Sarah realize she was hungry. She started talking about food. Naturally, that got me talking about food. Sheila complained, saying our talking about food was making her hungry. Well, duh, misery loves company.

When I’m hungry, and I’m often hungry, I just whine a little, complain a little, and spend time looking for something to eat. Even when I was thin, I was always hungry, and I ate more then than I do now. Regardless, with someone else who reacts the same as I do when hungry – i.e. Sarah – I guess I get a little worse. It’s not like I was the only one. We were pretty much feeding off each other. The more we drove, the hungrier we got. We managed to stop the food conversation only to have Sheila, of all people, bring it up again. We managed to get off that conversation when Sheila brought out Buddy, her purse gerbil. Well, that’s what she says, anyway. It’s a small toy that vibrates when you pull the string. It’s a little on the furry side, though, and she did say it was for her cat. Whatever.

Continued in Part 2