Just Do It

For several years, Nike used this command as a tagline for their commercials. Ideally, it meant to stop coming up with excuses and do what needs to be done. Lovely sentiment, really, and not a bad axiom to follow. Unless…

What if you’re one of those who’s raised self-defeat to an art form? What if, like myself, you believe that whatever you try, whatever you do, you will fail? Forget your dreams, they’re nothing but dreams. Come to reality and just be like everyone else. Stop complaining, others have it worse off than you. No one wants to hear what you have to say. Lots of people are told similar things by family, and even friends, and they come out just fine. Others don’t. The same words and treatment do different things to different people.

I’m a master of self-defeat. I’m the flaky, useless one who talks a lot but doesn’t actually say anything. Success on the horizon? Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to destroy it. Opportunity of a lifetime? Never fear, I’ll be able to irrevocably ruin my chances. Life falling apart? Hah, you haven’t seen anything, yet! I am the master of self-defeat!

Nor am I the only one. People who have siblings who seem to be doing just fine are themselves falling apart. We compare ourselves to others, unfavorably, and often come up wanting. Not everyone, there are those who compare themselves to others and see an opportunity, and have the tools to take advantage of that opportunity. I envy those people. I wish I could find a way to make myself think like that, to see the opportunities and take advantage of them, instead of just letting them go because I know I’ll screw it up somehow. Given half a chance, I’ll destroy everything I’ve built. Or so it seems.

What to do? Well, apparently, I haven’t given up just yet. I’ve managed to find a way around some of those hurdles. There are others that I see looming above me, ones that seem almost insurmountable, that I can’t find a way to overcome. All the more frustrating when I see others who seem completely unfazed by the same hurdles. It’s as nothing to them, why can’t you see how easy it is to go across?

I have things I could be doing now to improve my situation. I know what they are. Some, I’ve accomplished. I’ve found a way around those hurdles. Others, I cannot. There’s no good reason, really, just one more thing I’ve failed at. I have an amazing ability to see just how whatever I attempt will fail miserably. I can find a way to make it fail, to screw it up, to make it worse than it already is. All the self-help tools in the world seem almost useless in the face of my abilities as destroyer of self. This is my reality.

Just Do It. There’s a lot of pressure in that one little sentence.