A Day Out

Wednesday and yesterday, I was pretty much house bound. I won’t get into details, I’ll only say that on Wednesday at least, leaving home for an extended period of time, say, 10 minutes, was about impossible. Today, my bestest friend called just to chat and check up on me. We don’t talk every day any more, since neither one of us has a whole lot going on, there isn’t as much to say as there used to be. And frankly, I’m not the best at holding up a conversation (Making and Keeping Friends with Adult ADD), so when there isn’t anything to say, I’m usually content with silences. They don’t usually feel that awkward to me. Sadly, this is of little use on the telephone, so conversations are fairly short. I realized, though, after talking to my bestest friend, that I’d been cooped up in the house since Wednesday, and I really hadn’t left since Monday, and I needed to get out. I called her back and suggested an outing.

She’s been trying to get out of the house more, something we depressives have a lot of trouble doing. Yes, she’s a depressive. Frankly, the only people who can really understand the difference between depression and the blues is someone who’s experienced the difference. So, many of my friends happen to be depressives. No different than having all artist friends or accounting friends, really. You find a common ground. Anyway, off we went to Manitou Springs.

I’ve been there many times, although I seem to forget to go for the various events that make Manitou special, like the Great Fruitcake Toss or the Emma Crawford Coffin Race and Festival (not to be confused with the Frozen Dead Guys Days in Nederland – how could you not love it?). The town itself is very much a pedestrian zone, with fair parking and excellent walkways. The shops are unique and, yes, some are very touristy. But they’re unique. You’d be hard-pressed to find a chain store in downtown Manitou Springs. There are some that are specific to Colorado, but not much beyond that. Even though it’s only 5 miles west of downtown Colorado Springs, it’s a mountain town. Reminds me of Mt. Adams in Cincinnati, actually.

I really can’t decide if I like Manitou itself more than I like the drive. There are a few different routes to take to Manitou. My personal favorite takes me through Garden of the Gods, a fabulous geologic display given to the city of Colorado Springs by a wealthy landowner. It’s a slow drive, granted, and at times the other drivers can be irritating, but really, it’s hard to stay angry if you just look out the windows. Next time, we’ll be hiking through instead of driving through. So many easy trails to take, as long as you’ve got good shoes and plenty of water, you’ll be just fine. The last time I was there, I saw the ever-present swallows, magpies and rock pigeons, and was treated to a pair of cranes just hanging out at my favorite overlook. No, not telling, it’s usually pretty empty of patrons and I’d like to keep it that way. Usually I see a red-tailed hawk or two, but not that trip. I did on the way back from Manitou, though.

Wandering around Manitou itself was fun, sure, but more fun for me was finally being able to share it with someone. My bestest friend and I got to talking about all sorts of things, and we came to one very important realization. Well, not just one, but this is one that was important. We realized that neither of us has been actively dating because we’re not anxious to have to answer to anyone. And for me personally, I think Kate Hepburn’s quote sums it up best: "Only when a woman decides not to have children, can a woman live like a man. That's what I've done." I love kids. I really do. That’s why I didn’t have any. They deserve a better mother than I ever would have been.

I got to play with my new, cheap digital camera. Not bad for $20. Plus, my bestest friend’s mother tends to buy cameras a lot and discards the old ones, so she now has some fairly decent cameras and is going to give me one. Yay! Served my purposes well enough. I wasn’t expecting Ansel Adams, but I was hoping for better than a cell phone. And that’s what I got.

Today’s journey was about getting out of the house and reconnecting. We did think about the third part of our trio, The Saint, but she has little ones and it’s a bit harder for her to walk out at the drop of a hat. A pity, it would have been fabulous. As it is, The Dame and I wandered around the city, ate things we didn’t need to eat but ate anyway because they were good, and took pictures of things we can’t identify later. Mostly, though, we hung out, something friends do.

The whole future lack of funds thing preys on my mind on a fairly regular basis. I can’t not think about it, even on a wonderful day like today. I do get very homesick. I know there are people who care about me back in Cincinnati, who want me to be happy and healthy-ish and safe. And if I must, I can go back there. Cost of living is lower, it’s a larger city so I could actually find a job, and the lower altitude would do wonders for my blood pressure. But I also know that I never had friends like I have now, here in Colorado, that I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not with them, and I’m loathe to leave them.

Rather than think of such an unpleasant thought, one that has actually kept me up nights, I will instead reflect on the glorious day, the celebration of life that was my walk through Manitou Springs.