Random Thoughts

Well, here we are, just two weeks to Christmas, and I have no income. Even better than that, I have no money to pay my mortgage or HOA dues. The mortgage, I’ll get over. It’ll be a while before they foreclose on me. The HOA dues are a different story. My dues pay my utilities as well as maintenance, and the HOA will turn off my power if I don’t pay. I did let them know back in October that there would come a time when I couldn’t pay, but I never got a response on anything they would be willing to do, or how they’d be willing to work with me on that. Irritating. My father sent me some money, which is good, because that’s what I’m living on now. If not for that act of generosity, I wouldn’t even have any food in the house. And while I could stand to lose a few pounds, that’s not the way to do it. I’ve yet to receive dime one from unemployment, which would have at least kept me in the black a little longer.

As for school, my financial aid has been packaged, meaning it’s been accepted. Still don’t know if that means the entire amount I requested or just a fraction of it, but classes will be paid for. Classes start in January, and I am looking forward to getting that started, but I still have to pay for my living expenses. I’m stressing about having to sell my house, something that is becoming more and more likely as time goes by. Not really a good thing, since the market is so miserable and my house needs work. Work I can’t afford to do. Some, I could, but I physically can’t do it myself any more, and I can’t afford to hire a professional to do it for me. Anyway, once financial aid kicks in, I should be okay for a bit, but I’ve no idea when that will be, or how far behind I’ll be once I do get it.

The first week of January, I will be starting a tax class, something with a local tax office, which may give me some income at least, something to try and get current on my bills. Really not a great thing, because it could also negate my unemployment insurance benefits, but since I haven’t received any money yet anyway, I guess it doesn’t much matter.

My car is being fixed, though, so that’s good. I have a rental, paid by the insurance company, so I can get around if I need to. I have nothing in particular planned this week, so it’ll likely sit in my parking space for now, getting cold and snowy. Well, it’s covered parking, so not that snowy. It’s not the most conveniently placed spot, but really, after the first frost, I was sold on having to make the trek to the carport.

The world is going to hell in a hand basket, and I’m worried about having a roof over my head. Hmm. No, priorities are all in place. I have to decide, though, which of my luxuries will go first. Will it be my satellite, my cell phone, my internet? Well, TV reception is miserable here, and there are no rooftop antennas. I live alone, so I have no one else to occupy my time, and I don’t handle quiet isolation well at all. Already tried it. My cell phone has free long distance, which allows me to call my family if I really need to, without having to call them collect. Both cost about the same each month, although the cell does tend to go a little higher, what with text messages. My internet, that’s the last thing to go. I have dialup. It’s $15/month. And without a cell phone, it’s the only other way I can really get in touch with my family. There are no other luxuries. Just bills.

Yeah, I’m a little tense, a little stressed about what’s going to happen to me over the next few months. Without an income, I can’t pay bills, and if I can’t pay bills, I can’t even fall back on living on my credit card, which bailed me out back when I first moved to this city, and in fact, is part of the reason why I never really was able to build up much of a savings.